What is what to do when elderly parent can't take care of themselves?

When an elderly parent can no longer care for themselves, it's a challenging situation that requires careful consideration and planning. Here's a breakdown of steps and areas to consider:

• Assess the Situation: The first step is to understand the full extent of your parent's needs. This involves evaluating their physical, cognitive, and emotional well-being. Are they struggling with activities of daily living (ADLs) such as bathing, dressing, eating, toileting, and mobility? Do they have cognitive impairments like memory loss or confusion? A formal assessment by a doctor or geriatric specialist is highly recommended. This assessment will inform the level of care needed.

• Explore Care Options: Several care options exist, each with its own advantages and drawbacks:

  • In-Home Care: A caregiver comes to your parent's home to provide assistance with ADLs, medication reminders, meal preparation, and companionship. The level of care can range from a few hours a week to 24/7 care. This can be a good option to allow your parent to age in place.

  • Adult Day Care: This provides a structured environment during the day for seniors who need supervision and social interaction. It's a good option for those who are relatively independent but need some assistance and companionship.

  • Assisted Living: This provides housing, meals, and personal care services in a supportive environment. Residents have their own apartments or rooms and receive assistance with ADLs as needed. It offers more comprehensive care than adult day care but less intensive care than a nursing home. Consider the cost of assisted living as it can be significant.

  • Nursing Home (Skilled Nursing Facility): This provides 24-hour medical care and supervision for individuals with significant health needs. It's appropriate for those who require a high level of care and assistance with ADLs, or who have complex medical conditions.

• Financial Planning: Caring for an elderly parent can be expensive. Explore your parent's financial resources, including savings, investments, and retirement income. Investigate potential sources of financial assistance such as Medicare, Medicaid, Veterans benefits, and long-term care insurance. Understanding Medicaid eligibility is very important because if they run out of money they may need to fall on the state's help.

• Legal Considerations: Ensure your parent has the necessary legal documents in place, such as a durable power of attorney for financial and healthcare matters, a living will, and a will. These documents allow you to make decisions on their behalf if they become incapacitated. Consult with an elder law attorney to ensure all legal bases are covered.

• Family Communication: Open and honest communication with your siblings and other family members is crucial. Discuss your parent's needs, care options, and financial responsibilities. Try to reach a consensus on the best course of action and divide responsibilities fairly.

• Seek Support: Caring for an elderly parent can be emotionally and physically demanding. Join a support group for caregivers, talk to a therapist or counselor, and take breaks when needed. Remember to prioritize your own well-being. Caregiver burnout is a real concern, and it's important to seek help if you're feeling overwhelmed.